I've been thinking a lot about death recently. Not in an I-want-to-kill-myself sort of way, and not even in a oh-shit-I'm-gonna-die line of thought. Just simply thinking about death and dying; maybe it has something to do with the fact that we had a weeklong course on death and dying, I went to a funeral over the break, and then we came back to school and started cutting up dead people.
On top of all that, today was the fifth time in my life that I looked at someone and realized that I was very likely never going to see them again. Without a see you next week or catch you later, just a flat out goodbye.
I feel like all of us operate under the assumption that we will see you later. Our culture is one that constantly denies death, and it's probably adaptive. We're kept going by not recognizing it fully, and I know I can't operate if I don't assume that I'm going to at least live through the next few weeks.
Thinking about death, however, makes me question these assumptions. I find myself getting pushed closer to the present, and valuing my interactions with others a little bit more. I question whether medical school is worth it. I don't really make plans for anything more than three months ahead.
Yesterday, I got a weird look when I told a close friend I'd be okay with things if I was dead by 35. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't be happy about it, but at the same time, I figure that I shouldn't save too much for "when I get old." Stuff on the bucket list needs to be done, I need to live life the way I want it now, and honest things need to be said to other people relatively soon-- and not saved for an eulogy.
I don't feel sad, but I feel strangely old.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
taipei zoo
Today I brought my eleven year old cousin to the Zoo.
The Taipei Zoo is probably the most underrated attraction in Taiwan. It has a reputation for being lousy and ghetto, and for a while that was likely true. I remember going to the zoo as a kid, especially the Butterfly House. The butterflies were kept in a large greenhouse, and instead of having a double set of doors, they installed a large bead curtain to let humans out and keep the butterflies in. It didn't work. I think the only butterflies I saw were one or two who also managed to escape through the curtain.
Now there's been a ton of renovation and the animal collection has grown. The zoo is still a bit suspect, but it's precisely this aspect that makes it such an amazing place. For example, the engineers seem to really push the safety limits of the fences and moats that keep you away from being eaten. No where else could you look into the eyes of an elephant from such a close proximity.
Today I also watched a tiger's multiple attempts to maim five year old kids through very thick glass, leaving me very thankful for the glass and very bewildered at the "aww wook at the cute tiger" from the adults.
There's also an amazing gift store with some prices that makes you think about getting yourself stuff that you couldn't have as a kid because the Bronx Zoo was just too damn overpriced. That gigantic stuffed penguin is suddenly looks like a fantastic deal.
All this for an entry fee of about $2 US, and $1 if you're a student. A one way trip on the tram within the park costs about $.15, and a giant stuffed animal will set you back around $10 - 25 USD.
The best part, however, is overhearing conversations from the primarily local crowd who go. It's a lot of kids, but occasionally you find adults. They tend to people who dream of things beyond the glitz of Taipei, things besides winning the lottery or a fancy car. These are people willing to stare into the eyes of the orangutan in the corner, waiting patiently to answer some very important questions.
The Taipei Zoo is probably the most underrated attraction in Taiwan. It has a reputation for being lousy and ghetto, and for a while that was likely true. I remember going to the zoo as a kid, especially the Butterfly House. The butterflies were kept in a large greenhouse, and instead of having a double set of doors, they installed a large bead curtain to let humans out and keep the butterflies in. It didn't work. I think the only butterflies I saw were one or two who also managed to escape through the curtain.
Now there's been a ton of renovation and the animal collection has grown. The zoo is still a bit suspect, but it's precisely this aspect that makes it such an amazing place. For example, the engineers seem to really push the safety limits of the fences and moats that keep you away from being eaten. No where else could you look into the eyes of an elephant from such a close proximity.
Today I also watched a tiger's multiple attempts to maim five year old kids through very thick glass, leaving me very thankful for the glass and very bewildered at the "aww wook at the cute tiger" from the adults.
There's also an amazing gift store with some prices that makes you think about getting yourself stuff that you couldn't have as a kid because the Bronx Zoo was just too damn overpriced. That gigantic stuffed penguin is suddenly looks like a fantastic deal.
All this for an entry fee of about $2 US, and $1 if you're a student. A one way trip on the tram within the park costs about $.15, and a giant stuffed animal will set you back around $10 - 25 USD.
The best part, however, is overhearing conversations from the primarily local crowd who go. It's a lot of kids, but occasionally you find adults. They tend to people who dream of things beyond the glitz of Taipei, things besides winning the lottery or a fancy car. These are people willing to stare into the eyes of the orangutan in the corner, waiting patiently to answer some very important questions.
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